Weeee~Yesterday got band.Fun urhs.Matin taught me how to play the timpani.Quite easy to play.Haas.Then while falling in,my mum called me!!Lucky for me,they had fogging.So,we had to enter back to the Band Room.Then,my mum called again saying that my family are going out and they want me to go back early.I was like,''eh,walao eh!!''Then I had to rush home.Then found out only going to EXPO.Then I didn't want to go.But,I BEGGED my mum to allow me to go out with my fav. cousins.Because they actually wanted to go to Escape.But I got band.Then they went to bowling.But I still wanted to go.Then when my parents already went ut,they called back.Saying to change as we are going to bowling.I was so happy!!!(: Then my family went to Leisure Bowling at East Coast there.There weren't many people.Wah!My cousin all play bowling like so experience.Haas.I tried urhs.First,I laugh laugh laugh.Haas.Crazy me.But then,it soon got ok.Only problem,my right leg is always infront.When it was suppose to be the left.Oh wells.(: But it was fun.Syurah girl,you look darling in your neoprints aites?Next time,June holidays,we cousin go take ok.(: Love my cousins.Haas.During that time also,we took video of one another bowling.Achu main pro seh.Cik Jo all.Especially Cik Jo.Pro like what.Haas.985 sms me also.Haas.Ok ok.So I guess some people know who is this person.Shhh taus.(: Haas.Then after bowling,around 2130hrs,all of us went makan at Bedok.Weee~Me,Haris,my bro,Syurah,Hafiz and Huzai order western food.The adults order rice,TOM YAM,CHILLI CRAB,TAHU HOTPLATE and MEE UPEH!!!Theirs were so mouth watering to us kids.Haas.Our western food didn't turn out the way we wanted it.Except Huzai,Mushroom Steak,came last and it tasted the BOMB!!!After that,we kids went to 7eleven.I crazy.I took pics of the western food.Haas.At 7eleven bought CHOCOLATE!!!DARS white chocolate!!So sweet and SYIOK!Haas.Then after that we all went home.It's fun to go out with my fav. cousins.Cik Saniah asked if I ever went ice skating.??What??Nah.But cool if we can go ice skating.Weee~Brrrr...Freezing.Haas.Love my Fav. cousins.Rox!Wakakaka.Love to show the taken pics.But my comp slow urhs upload.Dang!!*sobx*Haas..

I'm in LURVE!!!Not really that in lurve.But just like lurve.Haas.Wakaka.With who?I don't know.Haas.But I think I am.But I don't think I am.

Today,good!Haas.Morning,at 10.30am went to Nur Amirah's house to do Literature project.Until 5p.m. lerr.Haas.So,far so good.Just need to complete some bits here and there and we are done.Left,the condominium and the malay thingy only.Hmpfs.Haas.So early all my family are all out.That leave's me alone.But by 10.30am I was off.Haas.Nur Amirah's mum's cooking were damn SEDAP and PEDAS!But I love it!Weee~Oh ya.985 dame back from camp already.Yeah!Haas.Ehk,sorry ehk.Tadi call you for fun.I kind of miss ya.And HANISAH was the one that say I miss you.Not me.Haas.But ya,I do miss you.As my close friend.But don't listen to what Hanisah said.Anyhow,it's HANISAH not HANNESAH ok?Haas.(:

I can't take it anymore.I just can't.I understand if you want to be friends.Yes.I want if I could.But with your attitude like this towards me,I won't.You are the one scaring me off,that guy.What you dream was BULLSHIT.No wait,it wasn't bullshit.But it was the continuation of your dream that was some where last month.We almost had it all solved.But you had to do that and said I'm scaring.If you want to know,sure I can tell you.The dream is now fully complete.You made it all complete.I APPRECIATE all the things you gave me.And you say I don't.Eh hello!Do you even APPRECIATE my LOVE??!!I doubt so.Which is more heavy?Love right?!But do you appreciate it?Do you??Huh?!I'm asking you in return.I appreciate everything.But you,not even one.I doubt everything you say.You love her,I understand.Get this,I have many sources.Don't try and make me blind.A sweet talker.Good.Girls' do love that.Well,some.All this while you had me suffering.But you enjoying.Ok,it's not that I want to give your things away back to you,but..but..I just need to know some things.It's time I know something from you.I was kind of a fool to not letting you.Maybe we should move on.We just be close friends.But I still love you.Well,I hope I still love you.Just don't get me wrong.I'm not despo.But I just find you something that really mean something alot to me.That's why,I still love you.Friends for life?Foreva Shall We as Friends?2R Foreva as Friends ok?(:

P.S.Today was 11 months.So much for it.Haishh.Lurbbe eeu.(:

Band today was ok.I guess.Well,in the morning I kind of gotten out of home way way late.Haas.Then had IT.Early morning Riffy sms.Anyway,it's ok.And sorry never reply back so many of the sms lerr.Haas.I got B for my damn IT.Wakakaka.So what?!Weee~Then went straight to Band.Went down to the parade ground to help out at percussion.Gawd!I got to see him!Haas.La,just don't get me wrong ok.He's just my best friend.Well,1 more day then he'll be back home.Wakakaka.That guy wasn't in school.Then after the percussion all done,we went up back to band room.Then we had to play Washington Post March,Somerset(correct?) March,Sock Hop Tonight and Hawaiifive-O(love this piece).Well I didn't really had any instrument to play in percussion.Then Sock Hop Tonight piece,I wanted to play the tamborine.Alex play the shaker.Then I didn't know when I'll hit the tamborine.Then I had to change with Alex.Embarrassing because I had to hold the shaker,which is a pair of maracas,and shake it.But then,I find it quite fun and funny.I did move along to the beat while shaking the maracas.I was blushing and making the others band members laughing AT ME.Embarrassing la!I wanted to play Bass.But didn't.Mr Goh say good la I move to the beat.But then move and shake very soft,people will think I SIAO and over the board,dancing.Haas.But I find it fun.But I NEVER want to play that ever AGAIN!!!Ya la then that BIATCH(like what hanis said) came to me.And she was like ''Dance la.Dance.Dance la''.Then I was like ''whattuhell??!!''.But I didn't care.Then I went to Hanis.I dance abit.Like what I always do.I mean,I love dancing.But didn't join dance.So,I don't know.Haas.And she laugh at me.Eh,jangan perasan ok.I'm not an idiot or a dog.I dance not because you ask me to dance,I follow.But that's what I always do.It's better than looking like XY.Kata je XX gene.Tapi perangai semua macam XY gene.Puii!Wakakaka.
Sms that guy just now.Um,hey,I didn't know since when we use kita and awak ok.But then semalam you use Aku and Kau.Since when we use that??You tell me.Look I'm just using a better tone than Aku and Kau.I like scared to use I and You with you now that you seem to have change towards me.I know I WASN'T suppose to be jealous of yesterday.But I kind of did.But,I can't complain or what.You are who you are.You have the freedom to do whatever you want.And I can't stop that.But don't get me wrong.I just got A LIL' jealous for a short period of time only.Then I'm chill with it.I hope I was.*sigh*.Mish him cho muchy.But,*sigh*.

To that guy,

Hey,sorry for whatever post I posted here about you ok?I guess I took your words so seriously.Look,I didn't want it to happen like this.I know you 5453 298 more.I can tell.I'm not here to annoy you.Ya true I lurbbe you.True what you say usually matters to me.Even though what you say meant to be a joke and nothing serious or what.I didn't know that all this while I had been in the wrong.I'm truly sorry.Ya,I'm so overly and whatsoever.I know that.But I just can't let that attitude go away.It's hard for me to.I know my attitude always accuse you of the one in wrong but not me.I realise now that my attitude of taking thins to seriously resulted in me loosing someone I truly love and that I miss so much.All the fun times we had,I really miss it.I kept turning back to our major crisis whenever I took your words seriously.I don't know why.I always look back. but never to the front.I really regretted it.Ya I know you needed space to think.But I narrowed it.I was evil cruel to do that I know.I didn't mean to tell my friends what you told me.Ya I guess I'm nothing but a coward and a fool.I'm sorry for all my mistake.Truly sorry.Please accept my apology.
x [[ RauDhaH ]]x
Still lurbbe eeu...

Ok ok.Fine.So I'm annoying.Almost everyone says I'm.But I just can't help it ok.Maybe I should be away from my friends for a while.To get things straighten out.Bah!That guy,I know la.I irritating.But could you at least please keep you words for once??!!Urgh!Susah tau nak get things in his head.I think it's time I straighten things out with you young man.What will I ever do if I hadn't known you?

Ala!985 tomorrow at camp.Boring la.Tak le sms him.Urgh!So much for my best friend.Haas.Don't get me wrong ok!

Oh yeah!Tomorrow is it?Speech day rehersal!So is Tuesday too.At least can see him.For a short time.But I don't think I can see urhs because I got the IT enrichment.Nevermind.That guy,oi!Maybe it's best...I brainwash you brain so you can REALIZE some things.Like,I'm not a FUCKING IDIOT BITCH FOOL!I'M NOT SOMEONE TO TOY AROUND OK!*sobx*So much for 2R forever and Foreva Shall We.So much for everything we had in mind.So much for our damn future!I'm sick of everything.Maybe I should die early.I mean it.But somehow,I don't dare to die.I want to die.I NEED to die.Because people can't accept me.So might as well just die.Also,he'll be happy once I'm dead.Because he can be free and find whoever girl right?I'm probably going to die soon if I never kill myself.I'm a girl with many sickness.Mentally ill,heart problem,dislocate shoulder and more.My life is coming to an end soon.No use spending my how long I get to live preciously.Because it will all go down the drain.Wasted.So might as well don't waste it.But just keep it to myself.Yeah!Raudhah Bte Mohamed is going to die soon!She's better off dead anyway.

Yeah!!!Weee~I'm so happy.(:
I got a new camera!Personal one!Yesh!My brother also got one.He's Canon.Mine is Fujifilm.Ok la.It's so damn blardy cool.Haas.Weee~Thanks Dad!(:

Eh,I know la you are avoiding me.I can see from the way you react towards me.Well,if that's how you want it,ok.Lurbbe you still aites?(:

Zul,zul,zul...Sweet boy.Haas.Don't get me wrong la about him.But I do find him sweet.That guy,don't think differently ok.Oh wait,you only care for her right?):

Yeah!Speech Day coming.Moan.13 April urhs.But this tuesday,I think,will be the second Rehersal.Yeah!Get to watch the marching again.Wahaha.Get to see Zul.Probably so urhs.La,Choir will perform at the hall.But they will see us from a Big Screen at the hall.There will be a camera fix at the parade ground to allow the people at the hall to observe what's happening at the parade ground.*Groans*.Haas.

Gawd!I haven't do my haliday homework yet.Aaaaahhhh!Man,I got to be hard working to push up my english and the other subjects all.Must study and work hard for next term examinations.Weeee~

I want to ask:-

Do you love me?
Do you want her or me?
Why are we three in the love triangle?
What happen really between us?Am I a third party between you and her?

Weee~2/5 ROCKS!!!Yeah!!!

Oh wow!We were the CHAMPION not only in one but in TWO events in ONE DAMN DAY!!!Weee~Haas.Cheering Competition and X-Country(for overall for that level).Hehe.Cheering Competition was fun!It was dead nervous when we had to go up to stage and face the whole school and perform.But it paid off.We shout and did our moves properly.Maryam was brave enough to stand solo in front.Way to go Mary!Haas.5/2 was the best!!The ''Go 5/2'' part was cute.The ''Mummy!It's over'' was damn freaking cool!5/1 also rocks!The egyption dance was funny but cool.Haas.4/1 also.They dance and it was so nice and damn rocking cool to the core.Hahk!That guy wear like what.Hahk!But it was sweet.Only if he was wearing long pants that is.4/6 was broadway style.All wore a tie.And their shirt was gawd!Damn style.With the umbrellas as the props.Broadway and Emo look.Haas.Next,X-Country.I got 77th position.Haas.I almost walk for the whole race.Fun la.That guy got 31st position for boys.Good la.Congrates.Then after complete the race,I sat down la.Then Nadrah and him,starting arguing for fun.Then Nadrah pour water on his head.Then when I saw,I join in.I wanted to pour on his head.But he stop me.Then,Nadrah pour on him.If I never pour him also he will get wet.Then after that,I wanted to pour la.Abeh he caught my hand and started pouring water on my head.I just stood there helplessly.Orang semua tengok.Malu.Haas.Then we do on Mustaqim.Hehe.Sorry ehk Mus.Then the teachers announce the winner bla bla...>>>''Fast foward''.In between that guy ask if want to go eat at Downtown.I agree la.Abeh when all sudah habis I cari him.Saw him.But I delayed it.Then lepas itu,I never saw him.I thought he sudah jalan and go Downtown first.When I reached there,I cari him.Like SHIET I cari him.Tapi tidak jumpa.I sms his number,the dad reply he haven't reach home.That was around 1845hrs.But that time,almost all my friends already go home.I was only there.ALONE.So whoever I saw I know,I ask if saw that guy.Then around 1919hrs,I sms again.Then you know what the dad reply?Ya that guy was already home.Sleeping!When I found out,I cry sehz.I mean it totally HUMILIATED me BADLY!So after I bought a Taro Turnover at Burger King,I went home,crying.I'm so hurt.I mean,urgh!Nevermind.Better not post.I'll deal with him whenever I can.I was totally shock!How could he do this to me?!I cari you for like ONE WHOLE DAMN FUCKING HOUR!Anyway,where were he and Remy in the first place after I lost them out at sight??!!Oh gawd!But whatever it is,I just can't scold him.He's the only guy that I can never scold even though I try my best to due to he did something wrong.Mustaqim,thanks for telling me about what he said.Next time I won't do what I did that time(hold his hand).So he was actually just doing that to pujuk me.Thanks adik.I owe you one.Oh ya tomorrow he got BBQ dengan that...Nevermind.Have fun aites.Spend time with her USEFULLY AND FULLY.I'm saying in a sarcastic tone ok.I'm sorry if I post this.Because now I'm in a state of hurt.Sorry.I'll clear out to you when I think it's time you hear my thoughts about everything in our lives ok?Lurbbe eeu.(:

Wahoo!Haas.Next week is HOLIDAY!!!1 week only.Haas.

Oh Gawd!Tomorrow is Cheering Competition and X-Country!!!So fast ehk.Tomorrow also get CA1 result slip.I hope I pass all.*sigh*

Today,wasn't a really good day for me.I kind of blame myself too.My proposal for the cheering was kind of sent in late.I kept to myself for 2 weeks.Because guessing and knowing that they wouldn't approve of it.Then yesterday,I told Siska,Namira and Syafiqah.And they told me to try tell the others today.So I did.I write my proposal and gave Maraym all to read.I even told the class.They did like it and want it.But some didn't agree.So my proposal had to be turned down.Oh wells.The current cheer we are doing is approximate 50s.My proposal was approximate 2 mins and 30s.But,it's kind of late now.I know I should have voice out early.Sorry.So,I don't know.Let's just hope for the best.(:

Yesterday,during HomeEc.Faqiha and I had to go to EVRY SINGLE class and give the coupons for free drinks for X-country.Good news.Out of class.Bad news.I had to be the one knocking on every door and going in to the classroom,greet the teacher and allow me to speak to the chairman/chairwoman.It was kind of embarrassing because almost every class sure got someone who know me.And when I go into some room,I had to embarrassed by the teacher or the teacher embarrass the class.The worst class was...TWO/TWO(2/2)!!!They all were like ''Wooooooo...!!!''Embarrassing you know.But Faqiha dear girl,it was DAMN FUN!Though knocking on every single door hurt both my hand knuckles.Haas.But I had a fun time.Next time IF got,we do again.Haas.Upper sec were abit scary for me.But I had to do my job.But it paid of at last.Haas.Every class I go,I had to repeat the same line:- ''Good Afternoon teacher.May I see/have a word with the chairman/chairperson?''From door to door,class to class,I repeated the same lines.Like script like that.Haas.But I had fun!(:

Alyah sis,thanks for telling me about IT.Nevermind if it hurt my damn heart.But now I know.Thanks.Harap-harap dia akan berasa seronok pada hari Sabtu ini dengan keluarga perempuan itu ya?BBQ apa.So have fun lar aits.I know everything.I shall not state it down here,as you know,you'll meletup dan nanti saya yang susah.The answer is so obvious dude.If you can't see it,let ME make you see it.URGH!*sigh*

2/5 budak perempuan.Saya,Raudhah,ingin meminta maaf kepada kawan sekalian.Maaf jika saya membingitkan anda semua.Sebenarnya,saya ini mahu rasa riang seperti kalian semua.Saya mahu bergembira and ketawa dan berasa seperti satu-persatu semua.

Translate:- 2/5 malay girls.I,Raudhah,would like to apologise to you all.Sorry if I ever annoyed you girls.Honestly,I want to feel happiness like how you all do.I want to be part of you all.
Honestly,I felt like an outcast.It does hurt.Sorry if I ever did any wrong to you girls.I'm TRULY sorry.)':

Marching just now was damn fun sehz.I don't march.But observing the UGs pratice marching for Speech Day,POWER!!Haas.La,I was with the percussion.Not all.Just,Matin(sec.4),Leroy,Syed Ahmad and Sebestian(correct?).I not kpo.But must help them carry back the stand sticks all.Because they must carry the bass drum and snare up.And they only got a pair of hands.So they ask me to help.And MATIN!!!I am NOT THE SECOND SITI AMINAH IN PERCUSSION OK!!!!Ya la I know,must help carry this,clear this all ok.Hmpf!I'm like the new ''maid'' haas.Fal,aku bukan nak action and kpo dengan the percussion yang at marching.But I'm helping them ok??!!I'm not slacking or what ok.All the UGs march very cute!I kind of laugh.Because that's the first time I see my friends who always laugh and smile look dead serious.In NPCC and NCC.Haas.The GOH was a combination.Eh wait,before that.It's not Mr Goh ok.But Guard of Honour la.(: NPCC,NCC,SJAB,GG selected people be in the GOH.Mr Razak was *melts*.So up front with him so many times!!!Gawd!His voice was dead deep!Boleh melt.Haas.But it was so good to be up front with Mr Razak!

Farah,don't be sad la.Not your fault.Maybe they need time to accept it that what is done is done.Nothing can be undone once done.But you have Siska all right?

All I do is EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT...And it goes on.Ya la Hanisah.I know.That's all I do!You also per.And not only that.But DRINK DRINK DRINK DRINK DRINK...And it goes on.Haas.

Cross Country is this FRIDAY!!!Weeee~Haas..

La,March Holiday got Band Practice.*sobx*.But 13 march one I want to go.Because got Speech Day thingy again.And I must help again!Kind of fun.But bored a bit.But,nevermind.14 march one can't go.Because got IT enrichment.17 march maybe only.Because maybe only I balik Kampung as always all year round.*YAWN*.Haas.
I LOVE my job as the new ''maid'' in percussion!Haas.Bennedick(correct?), thanks hor for teaching me how to roll on the snare drums.The seniors tak boleh di harap.Haas.

Gawd!Last night was the WEIRDEST dream I ever had.And part of it actually HAPPEN!I dreamt I was being suffocated by my pillow and bolster.Then I was lucky not suffocated.Then I took my pillow and bolster and brought it out to the hall of my house.Then I mummbled something and went back to sleep in my room on on my bed just like that.Then around 3 plus in the wee hours I suddenly woke up and see why I was lying without my pillow and bolster.Then I saw them at the edge of my bed.I took it and went back to sleep.The weird part was,when I woke this morning,my mum ask me:-

mum: asal malam tadi bawak bantal semua taruk kat luar?
rau: huh?betul-betul Ah(my short name my fam use) taruk kat luar?I knew it happen.

Then just a moment ago I told my dad my weird dream.Then he was also curious.I told him la.But really,part of the dream did happen.I was SLEEP WALKING AT THAT TIME IN MY DREAM!!So embarrassing tau.Lucky at my OWN house.If at other people house,how??Haigz...

I'm mentally ill. I'm mentally ill. I'm mentally ill. I'm mentally ill. I'm mentally ill. I'm mentally ill. I'm mentally ill. I'm mentally ill. I'm mentally ill. I'm mentally ill. I'm mentally ill. I'm mentally ill. I'm mentally ill. I'm mentally ill. I'm mentally ill. I'm mentally ill.
I'M MENTALLY ILL!!!

But since I promise that someone,I won't say that OK?Because I love you too.(: And oh ya.People I'm not with Spongebob ok?Why people think that way?I walk home with him doesn't mean I'm with him.But I wish I was.

Will I be with you ever again?
Will I be yours again?
Will I marry you in the future?
Can we live in each other life's?

You think about it if you read this ok?Think about it.Weee~

La,I want a cheering practice tomorrow!Make it clear and perfect before the real event.Tomorrow if don't have remedial,we have cheering practice ehk?Make it right this time.(:

Day: Monday
Date: 06/03/06
Time: 18.26pm(approximate)
Post no.:262

I'm being crap ar.Well,today,quite many people wish me belated birthday.Thanks.(: But,it's nothing.Haas.I'm ALREADY MISERY FOURTEEN!!!

Ok!From today onwards,I'm never ever ever ever going back with him.Why?I also don't know.I'll try my best not to talk about him.Sorry eh.Don't get me wrong la.It's just,I don't know.Just don't get me wrong.I'll tell you when I think it's time you best listen to me FOR ONCE.Haas.

Ain,thanks girl about the advice you gave.I'll try my best urhs.And,don't listen to what Zafir say.He's just talking crap.Whatever he cakap is not true.

Siska!!Oh My Gawd!Those two Coral kids were *melts*.Haas.But the spike hair was so damn spiky!Gerek!Haas.

4 more damn days to Cheering Competition and X-Country.Yayness''-.-.Haas.Well,Ain, remember tau.Bawak apa-apa and we jalan our sweet time ehks.Haas.

School Holidays are next week!!!Weee~Haas.La,1 week jerrs.Nak keluar,I try asking my parents.
Oh ya,yesterday go eat pizza with my fav. cousins rock!!!La,Hafiz,masih belum kenyang?Haas.Sudah kenyang selepas pergi main dekat Time Zone kans?Haas.I think kan,that lady ''bribe'' sehz.Where can ask the person to change spot sehz.Entah la.Teruks ar.La yesterday also go register Starhub.Abeh the person cakap yang the card $6 and free incoming sudah habis.Mana boleh kan??!!Shit man!Baru syiok-syiok nak dapat free incoming calls.Apa sehz.Grrr...
Hanisah,sekarang sudah tahu siapa Raidah?Pretty kan she?Eh guess what!Kal say that LEZAH(Terbalik) also got her Mr.Right!!Haas.Macam tak percaya.But,it's her buisness.Haas.

I'm so running away from Mustaqim's ''Twin''.He's like STALKING(correct?) me!!I'm freaked out taus.Almost every where I am,he's there.Mind you,EXCLUDING classroom and toilets ok!Haas.But really,he's kind of starting to make me freak out about him.CREPPY...

Weeee~
5 March today.
My Birthday.
Yayness.

Ok,pagi-pagi lagi Zul,2/8, sms me.He's the first person to wish urhs.Today.Second was Hanisah.Then Alyah,Husni and Azaad.Thanks people.Lurp ya so much.For boys as a friend tau.Jangan salah paham.I wished Irdayu Happy Birthday too.

Today later,go eat at Pizza Hut with my fav. cousins.Minus Syurah and siblings.Just Haris and Hafiz.La,I want them to follow also.So maybe boleh take neos.And at least got girl.This,only birthday girl.Nevermind.Well kind of happy.Got the best birthday gift from my dad.Thanks.Though I was rough on you.Haas.It's what I madly wanted to buy last year with my Duit Raya but couldn't afford it.Haas.Finally I got it.But I don't even know where to begin.Nevermind.
Well,I'm off to surf the net.Buh-byes.(:

I'm sorry dad.I know la I rude and all.But you always keep saying ''Must change behaivour''.How am I suppose to do that when you always treat me the same??I'm trying my best to change.At least give me some time to change.It's hard ok.Changes just can't be change in a *SNAP*.It takes time,effort and courage.What's more,you expect to see my change in attitude now that tomorrow is my 14th Birthday and I'm growing up.So,at least give me time ok?Please...

Tomorrow is my MISERY 14th birthday!!!Oh gawd!Some say it's Funkey 14.But for me is Misery.Let's see what age characteristic I've created.

-Horror 13.
-Misery 14.
-Confusing 15.
-Sweet 16(Obvious).
-Sour 17.
-Rebelious 18.
-Matured 19.

Well,that's what I think urhs.Haas.

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Have you ever wondered what is like to be left out alone?
Well I sure do have.And it's always.I mean it's like I was BORN to be left alone.I don't have kawan tetap.Means friends that I always hang out with.I don't have.All my friends do have.It really hurts when this happen to me but not any one else.I know.Life is UNFAIR.Well it's true.I'll never get what I want in life.Not even a single one bit.My friends do however.It's not that I'm insulting them.But...but...I'm jealous of them.There!I said it out at last in my blog!So if my friends are reading,please don't take me for the opposite.At least understand my situation here.Sometimes I wonder.Mix with the bad group or the Good group??Bad + Good = ???
Not even an equation can help me solve my problem.Nothing in life can!!!Not even someone I LOVE!!!My friends,they don't even care whether I'm alive or dead.I'm invisible or not.I'm like nothing in 2/5.I don't exist.Raudhah Bte Mohamed doesn't exsit in class Sec 2/5.Right??Right.I can never fit in.Never can I.Everyone has their own group of friends.Except me.I have to like go from friend to friend just to fit in.And it really hurt me.Alot.But I can't say much.They might think I just want attention.Wrong!I just want to be happy and have fun like you all do ok.

Eh that guy,sorry la about just now.I didn't mean to say ''So'' at you.I know la Cikgu Ridz there.I also know you got ngaji kan?So why just now never take the same bus as him even though he inside??You so long never go ngaji,and I don't want get scolding.And sorry to walk in,out,in,out from don't know where to central.Honestly,I feel like an idiot fool following you and Remy around school just now.Because you both always walk around 2/3 and you friends always disturb me.And I feel like nothing but an Idiot.Don't get me wrong la.But I just don't think you feel right when I'm around.Just say it ok.Hate me if you want.Beacuse alot of people hate me.No one like when I'm around.If you think you are the only one with problems,think again.Mine is soooo much more worse than yours.Mine no one can ever understand.Beacuse they took me for my negative side.No one took me of my positive.I'm not well liked.Not like you.Even the *********** despise me.They even ask why I'm even writing your name over and over again on my left palm.Now,I'm known for my bad doings.I take neo with ***** also all the *********** know.Everything!Everything I do almost everyone knows.I hope you understand.If tak paham,nevermind.

You know.I've been thinking about transferring school.I don't know which school.The school with many bad kids I guess.Not bad as in bad.But like I ''can fit'' in.Loyang,Greenview or Siglap maybe.I don't know.I know I don't belong in Prcs.I was never meant to be there.I slashed my left arm just now.Not rweally slash.Just took my pens that when write on hand no ink come out.I push it hard on my hand and pull across.Forcing the ink to come out.Then I took staple bullets and pull across my arm.Pain but I don't care.I was meant to die.It's true what ******** say last year about me.I am STEP JAMBU!People hate me.But I don't act as if I'm jambu.I never.But since people hate me.Everyone in life took me for my opposite.Never the positive.I'm ABNORMAL from the rest.People say I cry just to get attention.That's not true!

Only God knows how I truly feel inside.As no one can ever feel it.So much for me changing to be like everyone else.

Yayness [[ expressionless ]]!!5 March coming.Wow.So amazing.I wish Afiq Happy Birthday in Advance already.(: Left only,me,Irdayu,Syamimi.Yupz.Anyway,happy birthday Arian.I'll be called evil if I never wish her happy birthday right?So,ya.

Tomorrow Band.Start at 2pm!!!Till 5.30pm.Ok la.At least go home early. :P
Cheering competition is going well.Well,at least I hope it is.

Weee~March!!!New month!!Haas..

Oh god!
Yen(nickname) is so HANDSOME!!Haas...
Hanisah your head la!Anyway,he jealous kot.We always ask for yen no. Haas.Padan muke!Wakaka.

Zan sorry la.I don't mean leave you la.I mean,you know,you cakap sendiri you ada banyak probs.So i tak nak kacau you samapi you ok,ok?(:

Oh damn!Me and Ben Tan kena pauto!!!By BEN KHOH!!!Eh just because you kena hit against the wall or whatever and you teeth bleed like shiet,doesn't mean you have to tell Zaidah I broke Ben Tan's specs right!!!Nevermind.Not only that.

The WHOLE OF SECONDARY TWO KNOW!!!That I broke Ben Tan's Specs.Even NPCC also know!!!Now I feel damn GUILTY!!!

Ben Tan,soooo sorry to break your specs.I didn't mean to.I know I should have just told to.But I was moody at that time.Please sorry and understand.In return,I'll pay for your broken specs ok?I don't care even though it's fixed.I'll pay no matter what.I don't care if you say don't need to pay.Because I did something really EVIL.It's true.I am evil!!!I shouldn't be here!Aaaahhh!!!!

Wohoo!!

4 days to my birthday!! So is Irdayu's and Afiq Sarif's too!!Weee~
Haas...Ok la.Ciao!