happy 21months to RRELIFF (:

right, i hope you truly understand what i meant by that. it's not a matter of me ignoring you because of what happen 2days ago.but rather why you are being like that. i hope you change, friend.

& I'M STILL WONDERING, WHY.

CRAZY


& now i know. but the two things still make me wonder. why.

3rd posting.

i am THAT bored alright. i don't even know what homeworks are to be done. since also common test are now overrrrr. can relax slightly. but holidays are coming. and it's going to be pack Pack PAck PACk PACK!!! but band camp is so going to be loveeee alright?
if only you knew, and could come. MIA moments would be great again.
can't wait for the NAFA trip. hehs. padahal go there and practice & perform eyh? i don't know. but i know go there till 2200hrs. weeee~
if only you knew, you could tag alone. missing you.

ok, this is getting kind of bored. shiet.

oooo wait. i know!! i can go iron clothes. since i do have some ironing to do. and the fact that my cupboard is almost empty and all my school uniforms are not ironed yet and tomorrow is school. ok so i'll go do some ironing. ok, i'm a good girl. prfft.

i miss you so.

ok, my laptop officially sux alright. all frequently used buttons are now X. what's this?! but i still love you ok, laptop (:

i love my cousin! next time disturb ok? haha. boleh layan pula siPENYABAR tu. i salute you mister. as for the other one, hmmm... i shall stay shut about it alright.

i think what is going on now, i think is best for now. maybe then from here, we slowly get things settle out ok?

ok. i have to go bathe. haha. baru bangun tidur. nyehs.

TRY.

the word i wish to forget.
never have it in my vocab dict. again.

if it's a thing i MUST do, the word therefore should be a MUST. not try.

but it'll still be in my vocab dict. & i think it's best i keep it.

it'll come in handy one day (:

♥♥you (:

greaaaaaat! i shall hate the sec_s (fill in the blanks), for now. or from now? that also you want to want to scold me. you always ''black mail'' me by asking to call you when you want to know or i want to tell or say or ask something. if i want to tell or say something, you'll ask me to call. what is this? sms, chat is not good enough is it? it's not that advance is it? prfft. fine, i'm willing to get scolding from you ok. if that's what you want to do. you think people have to highly respect you is it? ok, fine. you'll get it. but the wrong way. prfft. and no, it's not mrYELLOWranger.

oi! it's my letter right. so i can read it first right. i know i'm still below 21 and still under your care. but so what! it's my letter. it concerns me. so i can read it first then let you right. like you said ''if the letter is stated for the person, the person him/herself must finish reading the letter first before others can read.'' you said that ok! and now you're raising your voice and saying that i have to listen to you and let you read it first because i'm still under your care?! bullshit la. no wonder i hate it when you two are at home. i hate to go home you know. you know that! )':

obviously everyone's like not happy/satisfied with the band performance today. prfft. results proven for not having band after a break. disaster playings. you can & can't blame us you know. but oh wells.

strike out for all i care alright. they think they're already good and thus need not come. so you don't have to keep them in the list to be sent to perform right. you jolly well know already. so why even bother keeping them in it? what.? hoping a ray of miracle would suddenly struck them to beg them to come. what by that time, probably SYF's nearing already. like you said, we have approximately 6weeks you know. 6 DAMN WEEKS. just go on with whoever that's there and bother to come and practice.

& for crying out loud! who says people don't go visitation early as 0800hr in the morning?! or 9 for that matter since you have to be ready by 8 or whatever. & don't think people who ain't chinese won't come tomorrow because of chinese new year visiting. they too have their own plans. if you don't take it as important, then your lost. maybe we too should do the same. that's nice.

you want us to love band, ok we will. we come for practice, practise real hard. get so the semangat in learning new songs. the next thing we know, we got lectured like some don't know rebelious students. when we weren't. at least we took the time to come. so what if we're sightly late. i mean, come on la ok.

& stop it with your class-ism ok. call out only your class students' name. you think they so fantastic? wake up can? some can even play and memorise the notes. that just shows that how dumb they can be actually.

SYF nearing. happy? sad? worried? excited? your pick. i just hope i get to nail sunrise song. i mean, can you just SET IT TO A RIGHT TEMPO?! how fast is it?! i played that speed you're conducting now, once, you scolded me. now i played the tempo you always ask me too, you scold me also. can just set it to JUST ONE tempo can?! you don't come and blast at me anyhow alright. i can also blast at you if i want. i can be rebelious if i want. try me. prfft. PINEAPPLE NOT WORKING. bleargh.

sometimes eyh i don't know whether to be semangat of band or not. some days i feel like it. somdays i don't. and he thinks he's too handsome and talented. oi! boleh jalan la. no offence alright. no, i don't mean the person who always shout at me for playing the WRONG tempo because i played what HE told me too. but oh wells, some should know. even as they grow, their ego gets even bigger along the way. well some that i see. thinking that they can play so well. padahal, it's just the same like us. prfft. pretenders. oh wells.

ok i lazy to blog long long. tomorrow 0730h, meeting iqa & mrIKANjunkie. which is nizam. night.

missing ):

LAUGHING
HAVING FUN.

but that's just the outside.

CRYING
FEELING LONELY.

that's the inside.

all that is needed now are...

HOPE & FATE.
♥♥ you.

when msBLUEranger meets mrYELLOWranger,

memory lane's created.

light up the memory lane again.. please?

oh ya. never try to litter. never i mean. you migh just end up slipping.
someone's watching, really.
& if you're trying to parkour over a hill, don't. you might just slip and go OUCH. you know what i mean mrIKANjunkFOOD.

when i'm kind, you're not.
when you're patient, i'm not.
when i cry, you're not.
when you're hurt... don't think i'm not.
when things happen, i wonder what are you doing.
do you care? yes? no? your pick.
when i'm down, you're not.
when you're angry, i'm crying.

understand us will you? please.

third posting for the day.
i must have find 19th a boring day today. so have to blog many many times. prfft.

note to self: re-question syaf over&over again if there's school the next day for assurance.

today apparently suck alot. but i love my listener partner ok. he/she [take your pick] listen to what i have to pour and vice versa. love love alright. almost share the same problem huh.

"ya2......bla3....stay happy & t____ing....." (??) oh i will i tell you. no doubt. if you're trying to test me, bring it on. do whatever you want alright. you do what you want, i do what i have to do to gain back what i've lost. and i presume you do not have a problem with that i suppose? i hope you don't. love you sweet.

&! oh ya. and if you think i'm feeling sad because i talk and look like i'm sad, i guess you better take a gun and shoot yourself dead for thinking that way alright. i think you deserve the very first death award for thinking that way. sucha young age and you pulled the trigger yourself. i pity you. but by then, you'd be dead. but then... i don't want you dead. because i love you. you got me? if you take this at heart, then i guess you better talk to the person in the mirror. you reflection la bodoh. who else seys.

and life IS maths. no wait. life IS like maths. yes. to me. i mean like come on la. people repeat the same mistake till they really learnt it and stop it right. same goes for maths. you make a mistake, you tried learning from it, you still got it wrong, you re-do it again, still got it wrong and after a few tries, you finally got it right. same goes for life. and i'm really sorry if you don't think that way because i know you're mrMATHS, pinkPR, i don't mean you but the other PR. so i guess that really says it yea?

ok gotta do my prayers. & oh don't worry. if you teraser alot, you tell alright. don't be ashame to tell me (:

great. why does is always have to rain on the 19th?
mother nature ain't happy on this day eyh. oh wells.

i've got nothing much to say.

i'm bored. i need a life. any recommendation people?

oh wait i do. i can spend my time editting pictures, find music and DO MY HOMEWORK. well if you ask me, i just touch my work, then do whatever i can or just flip through it and put it aside. 1hr later, i'll the homework back. wow.

ok i need to go out. OI! rain, stop eyh. and i don't mean the singer. -.-"

date: 190207
time: 0147hrs

happy 10th (:

if you say you can give me time, then give me alright. let time do the talking of my actions. but you said time told you that i still will repeat them. i'll make time eat back those words. please, let me do my pledges & let time do the talking & think twice of me. i know you want to, but then you're afraid of it being repeated. i understand. i repeat my mistakes to change till i feel it's enough. don't get me wrong alright. if you can't understand, then i'm sorry. if this is for the better, then i'll keep my mouth shut & you sit and see. UNDERSTAND it, please. ♥♥ you.

HAPPY 10th sweets (:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RRE, sis (:
already 15. no fair. nyehs. senyum senyum selalu.
i still want your ears ah. *dots*

today's chinese BARU year. nyehs.
ok i'm bored.
madrasah was boring as always. but nice. sit there, hear ustazah talk. her stories some are nice to hear. i never thought cerita NABI all are interesting. i want to find a book that has all the 25 NABI stories. they are interesting. and do have learning points yaw. 90mins of nothing just hearing her talk is ok.

i guess i should move on with life. no use dwelling over the past. i'll show you alright. it's up to you whether you want to take it in or not. but i will show you i can. from there, you can make your decision to t____ me or not. but i hope you do, please. ♥ you. ok i'm done.

SCREWED.
STUPID.

i know i shouldn't have brought it up. but i did. i know it was wrong to feel that way. but i did. at a point that is. even if i tried to fight it back, somehow it's hard. i'm a girl. my point of view is different. if i never brought it up & kept it to myself, it's wrong. telling was wrong. keeping to myself was wrong. then... what's right? you tell me, please. i don't want to always be the one trying to figure out what's right & wrong for me. please.

FORGIVE ME.
PLEASE ):

DAMN!

last post was 444. now 445.

outing didn't happen. had to stay back to finish up d&t folio.
good news : folio DONE.
bad news : the teachers already blah-ed when i wanted to hand it up.
wtf you know. oh wells at least i finish it up. now can relax and concentrate on others.

tomorrow's half day baybeh! but what to do with the other half day seys. go out? oh wait! i can catch up with my sleep time. yessah! maybe so. don't know.

weii! i love your hair ok. nice2. hehs.

ok i'm off to do the CME front page & CME homework &.... study for summary test? alrighty then (:

[[ just when things are in place, it had to happen. i feel guilty not being able to give a hand. but somehow i will no matter what ya?]]

tomorrow's sisters' day out. as if i got sister like that. nyehs. but still! nyehs.

ferhan bitch! when you calling. alahai you. go orchard. what onlyy seys you. &! you owe me something. muahahaha. my card low oi.

almost everyone had something. exchange gifts. cool. roses, chocolates, sweets, and more. well, it was really nothing much though. oh wells.

thanks for that alright. love it alot. and it's looonnng (:

oh ya! happy 1yr anniversary to my scandal, muhd razzan, & his sweet girl, ayu atiqah (: cheerios you two! eyh go out la lain kali. and zan,... not to the L______. that doesn't count ok. i love you too (:

ok i'm done. tomorrow literature test. plus must hand up d&t folio. shito! oh well, ciao.

i don't feel anything.
all i want to know is...
what do all these mean.

i'll cry blood on 14feb.

i gave the chance.

&! YOU took the opportuinity.

ironic isn't it. you said you wouldn't take it but YOU did. oh how lovely.
i love you for that.
that's sarcasm for YOU from ME.

even if it's the hundredth time you said you won't, you still will.
you never fail to make me smile & laugh on the outside & cry in disappointment inside.

somehow i feel boys can be a better bitch than us girls. they are much more bitcher than us.

and their words, such a rubbish. much more worse than a rubbish i think. really a pity.

oh well i better be off doing my d&t.

it takes a bitch to know a bitch, boy. well too bad i'm not one.


i gave the chance. &! you took the opportunity. i rest my case.

what are you trying to say actually.

*left hanging...*

D&T, maths, literature, malay, SS, revise for common test tomorrow : all NOT done.

wow isn't it? i have time to blog some more. oh wells. F it.

-part deleted-

worried.

but i have to study. i'll always help. please, calm down.

3 freaking hours alright! and FINALLY. nyehs.

boys...

oh wells, now that's done. left the stupid clothes bag thingy. because for band uniform. haiyyax. sec5 must bring? umm... oh wells.

you TWO owe US... really BIG TIME alright. nyehs2.

straight after combine science, nadrah&i rush to the hall. results were out like when we were having our common test. prfft. so we rush all the way. and the first person we saw was... umm.. oh yes! i saw kak ain! and... SHE DID WELL!! CHERRIOS kak (:
then saw sandeep. then i went to find kakliyana. her face looked pale. i almost cried there. kakyana, i almost alright. haiis, but you did well (: love love kak.
then went over to jonathan! i'm proud of you friend!! he scored... WOWWEEE! well, i hugged him. and he was jumping all the time. so happy for him.
haikal jamari, don't be sad ok. you did well. i almost cried. haiyoosh.
&! someone got an A1 for 'o' level maths. MR MATHS (:
good ah. this year 'o' you don't need to take maths. can shake leg already. good seys.
&! never tag me along to celebrate ah. but nevermind. because someone scared i go scandal around. macam paham x)

last year's batch did really good seys. wonder how it would be for my year.

joelKAWAN this year taking Os. eyh, after your O, we emo ah. ahahah. tag syafiqah along. haha. where got emo sia me just now. i was thinking about something alright. EMO. what only.

ok i better do some homeworks and revise up for my SS. i'm seriously going to screw SS. i'm weak in all subjects. competitions are now HIGH baybeh.

time is really going pass very fast. one moment you're happy. the next, you're sad. just like that. and the next thing you know, everything in your life goes crumbling down. just like that. what lies in the future can't be read or told at present. it's really hard to tell what the future has to offer us.

it's really a tragic scene to know that i'm behaving like how i was when in primary school. sarcastic, full of vulgarities and just plain emotion-less me. i never thought it would happen. but it did. saying out vulgarities to people for no reason, i was like that. and am like that. but trying not to.
sarcastic just that much. i don't give a sheit about how people felt. that really is plain shiet. doesn't sound nice eyh. it's really ugly to know all these. it really hurts to know that i'm like this. it really is bad to have it once again. just when you thought you could open a new chapter of your life. just when you were about to put all the lower sec and primary sch life and days away as a full entried diary, a new page appear in it. just like that. and every is being rewritten again. back to basic. back to boring old square one.

these pass days, i feel different. i don't feel happy, crazy, like how i was last time. everything i see is just purely based on my point of view and then, ZILCH. i don't care about other people's point of view. because nowdays i think as this. your opinion, your business. i don't care. as it has nothing to do with me. so, i don't care. that's how i've been thinking nowdays. evil huh.

raudhah = immaturity. correct? wrong? your pick (:

SATURDAY! here i come. too bad a certain someone didn't have to come. goody you. you take over my place. amacam? nyehs. MACAM PAHAM.

YESsah! tomorrow 'O' level results. owt baybeh! lovely abg, kakliyana, kakzanna, kakayn, dearest cousin of HUZAIFAH and rre's riff too will be getting the results. good luck to all you people (:
i'm so excited. why? i also don't know. my brother got his results like two years ago. and i was as crazy as i am now. nyehs.

ok i'm done. i love love my ____/_____ ok? he rocks! daa`

&! it was all for nothing?! is that what's this all about. NOTHING right? you had me struggling through and this is what happen next. i'm like WOW, not. this really showed what all this lead to. thank you very much. i appreciate it alot... NOT. you know what's the best word that could describe the situation here. C______. hell right that's how i feel right now. and it could describe the whole situation here. it all make sense now. thank you very much. i've had enough.

TERMINATED

some people really need a head start to get their heads being slaughtered. seriously. this is really a good example to show to the sec1s. cry as you can't play one of the part as it's damn complicating to understand the tune. well, of course a student with absolutely NO music background couldn't possibly get the tune right, right. and you expect me to get it right. you know it's bloody embarrassing ok. everything i do will be commented. slow, wrong. fast, wrong. look at the keys, wrong. look at the score wrong. then what's right huh?! i know you're talented la. i'll look down on you one day. just watch. &! you let them go SYF but not the other one??!! wtf. there's only three ok. THREE. shall i spell if for you. T-H-R-E-E! & ya blame on your r_______. go figure. bleargh. no wonder your f___ is ewww. and for the two bitches that weren't at band, 90% never come, you're wasting space & time ok. i'm done with you two.

ok, i'm done posting. i've been a SMACT blogger these days. wonder why. oh wells.

iqa! saturday. remember, ok. bring extra tee. i maybe bring just jacket ah. TAdaDAdum!

- post deleted.

confusion is on the run.

if there's one thing you ought to know my friend, i think you really just can't keep your mouth shut. what else do you have to tell to the world? that i _____________________? to those that knows, fill it in. and i don't mean i have sex or whatever. nothing to that sort of kind. oh wells.

you are such a wonderful, fabulous, one of the kind friend. sarcastically nice i'm being.

for some reasons, i won't say vulgarities. as it's such extreme. so ya. but i can if you want me to. how about that? which will be. sarcastically nice remarks or vulgarities remarks?
a) or b)? your pick.
i'll take both (:
on second thought, nah.

yea i'm a SMACT blogger. do i give a shiet about it? fucking no! why? as i was made to be a fucking SMACT blogger for this post. so fucking hell i don't care.

it's really pleasant to have a fucking wonderful friend like you, you know. i thought you were what i thought you were. but fucking hell NOOOOOO. i didn't fucking know you had a fucking hell big mouth. go tell the world! GO! the next time you here me talking to you is when i feel like giving sarcastic remarks to you bitch!

and guess what! she was kind enough to start a conversation with you! and you just thought it otherwise. thank you friend.

and fucking WOW! i did what i had to do already and you think it's not enough?! i thought we spilt the job equally fair and we do what we had to. i did what i did. but did you?! NOOOOO! you just wait, comment, yakked and wait for the last piece to be given to you. what fucking hell are you trying to spread here?! i laugh to myself when i heard about it. at how a friendship i thought i could treasure it really well turn into a bitter one. it's really funny you know. i can see myself laughing to it, hysterically and sarcastically.

but like they said. what's done, can't be undone. your words can't be undone. so oh wells. fuck to hell you go (:

i'm done.
note: it's not who you think it is. i swear it's not her. so don't assume alright (:
p.s to _________, your turn will come (:

outside i showed i was smiling, laughing... happy. but deep inside, i'm not. i held my tears back so as not to cry. what she told me... stunned me. how could you? if this is who you are, then why didn't you tell me long time ago? why suffer now. why.

i shouldn't but i should, i did. the feeling immerse so deeply into me. what more could i feel. all trapped in me. the feeling is so... so indescriable. what ever happen to once a upon a happy time, now turn into a once upon many lies. is there anymore heartache surprises?

it says it all. actions tells more than words. i'm done. i'm that just that bit heartache. what does all this mean... really?

raudhah + unconditional boredom = the fucking passage above (:

urgh! can you just stop disturbing my life,... please. if this is good for the both of us, then i suggest it's best i did what i did once. and it will stay as it is forever. you still don't get it do you. GO AWAY! LEAVE! please. )':

til-lil-lil-DUMB! nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh.

the tunjuk perasaan didn't happen as i was too ill to do it. oh wells. i prefer as it lah ok. malas nak buat itu semua. bleargh.

30hrs drill requirement?! wtf. wow! whatever lah. nak masuk SYF nya pasal.
FOR SYF SAKE!
yessah! so excited. nyehs.

BORED. terminated.

i can't go to blogs. what's the meaning of this. wtf.

tomorrow's THE day. yessah. i'm so going to tunjuk perasaan. you tell me how it's like alright. i can be very mean if i want to. i know i saw you just now. but i fucking hell don't bother to look at your face. you think i'll give face this time. go HELLfuck with it. i won't. i tolerated enough. i was kind to always give in to what you say. and now you are doing this. i know you're better. but why do you have to do this. make me suffer and embarrass like shiet?! why. isn't anything good enough for you? aren't you PERFECT already. what else do you want. i've had it with you already. i'm not done with you yet. once it over, it's OVER. got that!! fuck buggers like you to hell. ok i'm becoming too vulgar.

relax raudhah. relax. all these are just trying to make you lose your temper. relax.
*hummmmmmmmmmmmmm*

there. i feel much better. well sort of. wah. go play soccer ah. what only. nevermind la ok. the NEXT TIME, i won't even ask ok. it feels weird that i ask alright.

yessah! tomorrow pizza treat by ms.Z. like... FINALLY! so long seys. since last july till now. so to all the 2/5 of 2006, tomorrow pizza treat, 1245hr, at the end table of the canteen aite. alright-y.

ok i'm done blogging. i'm tired. boos.

oh ya. V.Day's coming. iqa&mary, i need help in buying the thingy. shh.. haha. must start saving. bullshiet-o. ok ciao.