WHAT NOW, RAUDHAH?!
i'm in deep shiet.

today was like wtf day ok? here's the thing about trying to achieve something so hard.
-you'll end up crying due to over-stressing about it.
-alot more people will start to break down.
-&& you, yourself will end up crying too.
like wtf right. & no, i'm not being angry or whatever because i had to comfort 4people [note abgfee: it's NOT the comfort taxi ok]. but then it's like from one to another. & what's worse is that aiyaaa. i hate to have so many things in my head. this la, that la, her la, bla3. & just her alone, takes up almost 3/4 of my brain.

it's really frustating when things goes like this. PRFFT la ok.

dear diary,

why is it that i'm the one having to do more of it? i'm not arguing with you. i'm just asking. & there's not much improvement because you're still glued onto her. that's one of the reasons alright. i, myself, now am at pause. oh whateverr alright.

byee (:

& yo my bitch womann of the century, i know you know that i know that you think that i was the one who actually created it. hey, guess what! narrow hope alright. whateverrr. i'm innocent, bitch. & i know you're not. i'm waiting for you to tell me off my face. because, not only you that have things to say. me too. whateverr la. i'm wasting my fcuking energy typing this knowing you might not read it. prfft. byee. i'm so hating myself for doing this kind of things. please forgive me. really ):

dear diary,

why is it that i'm seeing what i wish that it would have stop. but yet it's not? & why is it that you are not doing anything but yet i am the one? & why is it that she change in someways? can you answer all that, dear diary?

BYEEE ((:

& you, certified bitch? sure or not? YOU?! you look so pathetically innocent. & what's with that... *laughing my ass out* seriously, while you're probably busy laughing, i'm busy planning. i'm willing to be as mean as you though, if you like. & i know you want that. whatever la. shouldn't have admit to you my mistake. prfft.

&... SYF is just like uhhh... i lost count of the days. well it's 2weeks from now that is. ooo can't wait. but it'll be in the afternoon urhs. towards evening. can't wait can't wait. but i'm still dreading on the set piece given. but whocares. as long as i'm able to play it, yea. then 2days after SYF, speech day baybeh! till the night. yessah. then after all this events, MYE. *groan* have to study hard seys. i'm slacking alot. especially in maths & malay. well, all i suppose.
you know what, i should go do up my maths now. i should use this time, which i have use it to update my freaking blog, to finish up and revise on my homeworks all. ya i should. blreagh.

dear diary,


& if you lie, i'll make you wish you'd never know me. & if you really did lie, i'll be your most horrible person in your life (:

with ♥ patiency, rau (:


& i'm starting to miss my beloved bro who is now in Laos with his school. in detailed, with his course friends. haiis. so quiet at home without him. haiyoosh.

& i despise it. but i even despise it more at the very last one. any objections?
if you're laughing your ass out, i'm busy planning on cutting your hair off yaww (:
PRFFT!

i have a brain. do you?
i am a girl. & you?
i have friends. do you?
i smile at you. do you?
i'm smarter than you. & you?
i'm not a bitch. are you?

i don't hate you. but i know you do.
so fcuk off to hell where i'll be laughing at you.
i don't lie. but i know you do.
i love him. & you don't. so, what have you got to say about that?
in other words, reverse psychology.
but i know i'm not that brilliant in my english.

i'm not fat but i know you are.
anything to comment about what i feel, bitch?
smile & i'll be kind towards you.
anger & i'll slap that face of yours.
take your pick. make a guess. i gave you your choice.

hello i'm raudhah & i want you to fcuk off this very minute (:
any problem with that, bitch?

you sure? go to hell with it.
as for you bitch, i suggest you can just f*** off (:
i won't be nice to you again. it doesn't pay to be nice towards a person like you.
all will go down the drain just like that.
i'm not nice. are you? i doubt so.
:))) prfft.

if this is how it goes, then so it shall be. i've had enough of whatever is going on here.

i need another round of instant noodles, ice-cream and chocolates again.

&! you. you got what's mine. happy now, bitch? prfft.
& no, this has nothing to do with the sec._ people. none alright.

why is CME important to me?
a topic that i have been given for not bringing my CME [civic & moral education, dumb] book. & it's a 500 word essay. & i'm left with 210 words to be written. every paragraph written is a whole number. & yes i counted the words alrigh. so what, big deal. boos. 60, 120 & 170 words for the first 3paragraphs, respectively.

help anyone? i'm out of things to write on.
byeee (:

after 13days of MIA-ing, i finally decided to update this dusty yet boring blog. prfft. reason being many things pop up lately. life just suck at this point of time. & i thought i never blog for only 5days or less. oh wow.

& GODDAMNIT! you're not the only living bitch here! hello?! no wonder they say looks can be deceiving. & you're a perfect example to that short yet strong quote. oh whatever happen to what i thought you were. prfft. i once had the right to tell you off. bleargh. go to hell with it larx ok.

some people just have to destroy my life by doing that. she's one good example yaww. nevermind about this kind of people. let's talk about the goodies of life yaww. great news to CRESTWINDS.
-band room is open daily till 1830h for individual practices. see ya there!-
oh, we're so going to kick those asses that think they're such pro. well, think again. that incident so push up our spirit to push harder in the coming SYF. yessah baybeh! & we'll see who is the sheit one, alright? but i can't deny. BBB short malay guy percussionist is hawt & cute. PLUS! the voice is fcuking hot. though it's somewhar high. bad thing, i didn't know his name. oh wells. at least he talked & smiled & waved at me. ok rau, stop it.

i must say, things are getting rougher by the day. subjects teachers are so going to push & push us hard for D-Day, MYE. & i've not mastered the formula on some graph topic which totally is not in my brain. seriously, it's killing me, hard time. what's more with events coming up. speech day, SYF &... i think that's about it yaww. plus what's more with... nevermind xP

POTO & ugly betty were rocking my socks off yesterday night. i can't deny that gerard butler is oh-so-hot even though with the half mask. but when he took off the mask, you might want to reconsider. but STILL! his voice was so... *melts* & the rose with the black ribbon on it. oh how i wish i get one. what onlyy rau.
as for ugly betty, you don't have to be pretty to attract a dealer or whatever that guy was. the brains are the one that's working on it yaww. & must i say she did look pretty in a way. but then, oh wells.

i'm probably done blogging for today. long? short? i don't know.
& oh yes. let's just say i'll laugh to every single problem that i know off alright. it's really interesting seeing how it happens when you know in the end everything will resolve (:
& rre, thanks (:

need time off from the confusion. why can't you just be straight forward? *cries*

thank you nadrahGF, rre, nur amirah, farah, hanisah, siska, namira, syafiqah, maryam, shabrina, shafiq, sayyid, nizam, nizam, kakHIDAYAH, kakAICA, kakHANEEZ, alicia, zaidy, matin, alyah, chi wai, afeeq, friends of afeeq, chinese girls of 3/1, farahCOUSIN, haris, hafiz, syuhrah, syahrah, huzaifahHOTcousin, the parents, msJUNAINAH, kakLIYANA and many many more alright! thank you ((:

thanks nis for the cake. love it! chocolate!!! hehe. coco powder. yummy. ok, i felt paisey when i had to give the cake. haha. first cake was to nadrahGF. thank you for making it come true aite girl (:
second was one of the girls. then nizam,dayah,aica got too. zaidy also. the chinese girls of 3/1 [some of them] got it too. teehee. sayyid too. and lastly,... matin.

already malu when nis and shab brought the cake. haha. i had the knife before hand. haha. then they sang happy birthday song. then afeeq's friends sang for him. then i had an idea. and pulled afeeq to cut the cake with me. awww, haha. it was really sweet of all the girls to do this. THANK YOU AND LOVE YOU DEAREST GIRLS!! although the sight of ''ehem'' made me feel sad. but i had to feel happy. since he was the last to get the cake as others all receive on the cardboard. so ''ehem'' had it on the plate itself. oh wells. abgPINKranger said he ate it. hehs ok.

thanks for the hazelnut chocolate zaidyGERRARD! love love it. ferrero from farahCOUSIN. plushie from hafiz and nadrahGF [i love it alot sweetie]. and more. haha. eyh haikalNINI, there is a brand called KENJI ok. haha.

today really made my day. and thanks to msJUNAINAH for the wish (:
though i felt malu almost the whole of recess and after that. but it was really a happy, though sad, but still happy day. thank you so much. though someone was missing from it. well, the whole wasn't there. haiyoosh.

and to other MARCHbabies :

irdayu, afeeq, mrsTANboonYEN, kakHAWA, shafiqHASHIM, nizamNPCC, husniFALAH, alicia, ongMINGyi, luqman2/5, nashUMAIRAH, yiXUAN, izzahNAZURAH, masri. to others that i forgot. hehs. ok i'm done. haha.

i ♥ today alot. though i was sad abit.

rre and BM went to my house. wanted to do the dance steps. haha. jadi juga. hehs.
currently hafiz, my cousin, is playing with rre calculator. hehs.

thanks farah, cousin, for the gift (:

ok now... nevermind. haiis... everyone are shock to hear about it. &!!! what the hell???!!! RRE I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING! NUR AMIRAH, YOU TOO!!! this is getting more confusing!! ahhh!

i need my chocolate. byee )':

ti'm in need of specs... BADLY! seriously i'm starting to enter lala land already nowdays. due to ............. & ............. whatever they are, go figure if you think you got the brains. gosh, i already pass most subject. well all are NOT just pass, exception of SS, but rather all are weeee scores (:

if you think i'm this harsh, this is just part of the bad me you're seeing. yes this already hurt you alot. no, i didn't fitnah. this kind of matter, i will never fitnah. for what. what, just to gain support from people? that will die off when the lies are being let out. and i don't waste my time on this matter alright. fitnah people are just prfft alright. you think i'm harsh doing this to you. this is just posting you know. i never even said out your name. if you said i did, yoou're already lying, big time. this is just posting tau. words, hands belum lagi jalan tau. it could already happen. but i sabar. because i know it's worthless and energy wasting to do that to a friend whom i call you BESTIE.

you'll never know how i really feel. go figure what to do ok. i've enough things that need to be settled. i'm no you. you're no me. please, think of what to do. i'll make this a one person's job. sorry. hope you understand. if not, i rest my case.

& i'm starting to miss him so. i feel sad now that his nick... *cries* i really can't take it. everything seems different. it just felt weird and different. i miss all the times. i know it can't be brought back. but i wish it could be... )':

workshop just now was greeaat! love the people there. the place was DA BOMB! the students too were ok. love love the conference table. weeee. cikguHARTINI rock alot! nyehs. after workshop went to TM to find the shirts. unfortunately couldn't find any. so just went to buy some stuffs. met cikgu there, again. hehe. then went to N2 there met up with nis. ate McD. was in pain badly. physically and mentally. ok, that sounded wrong. then went home. oh ya on the way to meet nis, at TM saw alot many many sec_ (fill in the blanks) friends seys. this always happen when this happens. he wasn't there. neither was ms-i-apply-eyeliner-but-terpoke-his-eyes. everywhere i see sec_. i'm starting to miss him already )':

i'm so confuse. yesterday, a someone went up to someone & asked where that someone was. and today, that someone talked to someone. how do i know? some someone told me.
why is it now everything is someone... that someone... someone... that someone. why? it's not the feeling of J______y. but then,... nevermind. it's probably someone sides that someone more. well, that usually happens. )':

i've got not much time to think over about it ok. please. i got better things to do. and so do you. just answer me one question will you, please.

do you care about this friendship as bestie?

just answer it HONESTLY. bleargh. yes i know you hate it this is happening. wow! like i'm not. i too ok.

starting to 6477 846 already.

and i went... haiis...

since when i took all your friends. since when i said you were the cause of the incident. since when. and why are you desperate of wanting people to side you. why. it's not like i'm going to take a gun and shoot you or what. and now you're going around showing your pathetic cute face asking for sympathy and hoping they will side you? even HE is siding you. even razzan too. you took everyone that i was hoping would be neutral siding you and against me. you think what. you think i don't need support is it. i do too alright. you think your problem is like the only one that is so the important and like everybody should know is it? is that it? you think calling your KOR in that tone is so the funny and cute and lovable is it? you've gone too far i tell you. until you even dare to say THAT to HER you know. and why the hell did you go scolding the HER behind you when she did nothing wrong. eyh makcik, you think your stare is so scary. you think it's so the ''ooooo i'm so scared of her stare''? eyh, hello la. your face like that yang selalu nak act cute infront of people is not even scary one bit la. your hair's already nicely being cut, but you don't know just how to keep it nicely. it's getting more pathetic. and why you so angry when i decided to volunteer to go to SPH on saturday? jealous? because i wanted to go. eyh if you go, i can say this. you won't be commited to it. i know i won't. but this is what i really want to do. so i will do all my best and be commited to it. people calling you a nuisancebitch, irritating mickeymouse voice. you think i like it when people call you that? and oh wait! you didn't like me do you. cause you had the cheek to ask her if she ALSO don't like me. the term also says that you didn't like me. so all the friendship build was just a fucking waste of time ah. what's wrong with you man! you know what. i had enough of your name, you shiets and all alright. i was good enough to tolerate all your fucking shiets. sometimes i wonder, why are you such an asshole in the beginning. if the friendship mean nothing to you, you just fucking hell a stuck up tak menjadi bitch! you see! you made me called you that. what ever happen to you. and i thank you for that. oh you can welcome me once i see your name on the tombstone.