& it's a question to whether it's tear of joy or tear of cry.
& i'm out tears to shed. i conclude that it isn't the best day ever for me for this month. puffy eyes are seen. staring at the computer screen just makes my eyes even dry. i'm being oblivious to nadrah's advice of sleeping once i got home. i'm sorry.
as much as i wish to confront her at times, deep inside, i know she is the only one who knows me best. even if the contrast of our behavior is obvious, i know without, i'll be locking every problems i have in me. i'm sorry for nudging you off when you comforted me. i felt that you weren't needed at that time. however, i soon realize that the only person i can turn to is you. i'll clear this out with you, one day. as much as i wish i could confront you, i still do respect you as a best friend. question for you, is strong friendship a one sided thing? think about it. loves.
distance felt. what happened. i could still feel you, however, it's bare, at heart. it just got me thinking, deeper than i should. i would never say that you've changed, never. however, i miss you. i miss you like how a child misses his mum when they're distance apart. really, i do. every now and then i think. was it avoidance or some other things. i miss, i really do. i'm over-reacting here, yes i agree. sigh, where are you, *cries* although, your love at heart is still felt in me, but i can't feel you like i always do. sigh, *cries*
i visited her profile. like what i told sarah & sufiah, i compare myself to her. from the song tear drops on my guitar:
she's got everything that i have to live without
sigh, i need to talk to sarah & sufiah.
& things ain't pretty at home. the reluctance of speaking to me is getting obvious. i feel as though i'm made invisible at home. what has become of me. who am i now.
& i feel no sense of care, love, happiness & whatsoever from every angle be it at home, school & even... sigh. question now is... where are you when i need you... the most, *cries*
[edit] & band just had me crying too. i'll miss those guy bitches in my section. i'll miss those lovely companies at the mallet section. i'll miss those sounds of music made. i'll miss the atmosphere. i'll miss my baby mallet. & most of all, i'll miss MR GOH & MR SHAH. however, still, i will visit them.
& HAPPY 18th TO ARIFF, in advance. see see i still remember horxx.
& thanks RRE for caring (: loves. [/edit]
& my feelings show that i miss you terribly ♥
