thinking back, i know i shouldn't get so worked up with all this. i mean, being like that doesn't solve anything, right? so ya. and the last two post typed, i feel i was really having THE mood swing which really had me hitting on everyone. including those innocent pri6 kids. sigh.

i'm really sorry for being so pissed/annoyed these past few days. sigh. i hate when my emotions is like out of fuel in a sense. prfft. i need to fill it up again. sigh.

to my bestfriend whom only mastura knows, (shhh) : look, if you had told me or i had known ealier, i wouldn't have chatted with you. & to think that you think i don't care, i think you got it all wrong. yes, i took it too hard and at heart. because i care, for crying out loud. now that i know, i won't disturb you okay. all that i want to say is that i hope you will never give up & will keep striving hard. because i know you can. jia you. sigh.

& i hope this is the last time i shall behave. because i know it's not doing me any good. especially venting anger to my loved ones. sigh.

[edit] & i have a question. is this the season whereby friends are saying things about one another and after that, apologize for those horrendous remarks said? i wonder. so it is the season? yes? no? it's like appearing in most blogs that i read. & not forgetting, myself too. [edit]

& it doesn't pay to be kind towards people who have such immature minds & who prolly thinks we don't have trust in them. this is specially going out to a moron who thinks i don't trust him. yes, it's a bloody HIM. goddamnit. i'm building up my anger. gaah. your face, like totally should deserve one tight slap laa okay. just because i don't believe about it that day, you got so bloody worked up & said i don't trust you. merajuk for all i care. be it for real or a joke. it just shows you are such a pathetic guy. sheesh. & call yourself a guy, eyy, tau malu sikit laa! prfft. & damn it. i'm being so sensitive here, yes? sigh. forgive me. sigh.

previous post, i said to myself & requested. make this blog a place NOT to vent out anger. & yet today, one day after that, i vent out my anger. sigh. i'm kind of pissed/annoyed by his attitude laa okayy. he really change alot. & to think he was that sweet and cute guy like what... *insert a number* years ago. just look at him now years later. being sarcastic here for a moment. " i'm so proud my bloody bestfriend has grown up to be someone who wasn't who he was laa like years ago. congrates, sadly, you're the best bestfriend i've had". conclusion? i shouldn't take this matter to seriously. asalkan kau bahagia sudah. aku pun sudah tak boleh tahan dengan karena kau. all the best. cheers! & i shall care about your studies, NO MORE. period. & i think it's obvious who i'm talking about already laa ok. gawdd, someone please, shut me up. gawdd, i need greentea. sigh. boo.

just when i'm about to feel happy with my life i'm having, some things just have to come by & try ruin it. why? i wonder. sigh.

count the no. of "because"

& i wish at times, i could place the gun at your head and make you realise.

i feel like making a statement here. since it's my blog, or i presume it should be, i'll just say what i have to say. but you know, with all the oohs & ahhs going around, i suppose this post have to be slightly specific. or else, this could all lead to another misunderstanding (: ya digg? okay lame. but well, here goes.

as far as i'm concern, i think you should understand the term private/personal/confidential. i suppose you do because you're smart, yes? & when i wish to talk about those matters to someone which doesn't need your presence, i suppose you should understand that. you see, if zomboo & rabmek can understand, so why can't you.. plus you#2? i don't wish to do this you know. i do have my patience, thank god for that, which i really do. alhamdulillah. but sometimes, the sentence, everyone has their limits, really do come in handy, yaww. i don't think it's polite and necessary for me to go vulgar or angry. plainly because it's never a nice feeling to do so, trust me. firstly, it will only cause hatred to surface. second, it's never the best way to resolve things you know. i shan't name you people because i know it's never a nice feeling to actually be exposed since i know you people will be ashamed. thank me for that yaww (:

if it kills you so much to see me talking to someone about PERSONAL matter, i guess you better look at yourself first you see. because when it comes to personal matters, mouths which doesn't have their locks to it, can somehow, let the cat out of the bag[did i even use it correctly]. i'm really sorry to say that. however, i do admit, at times, my mouth needs to be locked. well, by this time, one of you will think it's you. i'm just saying it in general here. so no hard feelings you know. anyways, i don't go around asking what you & whoever you're talking to, talking about what. shit, forgive me, my english sucks. back to the topic, i mean it's like who in the hell world am i to intefere or be kaypoh for that matter in that sense. you understand? it doesn't have to always be you the one who knows everything. because, sigh, i hate to say this. you, in a way, wants to know what everyone's talking about when they are being secretive towards you. while when you're being secretive towards your friends, you won't tell us. conclusion? you're an ironic person.

& by the way, i so rock your mother... sorry, i won't use vulgarities here. i so rock hard more than you. *smiles* but in actual fact, i don't. i admit i don't. because i'm being too secretive. therefore, i don't rock. neither is my partner in crime. hence, we don't rock while you & you#2 do. yay yay, no. this is what should NOT have happen you know. then comes this question that you really should consider, although i know, examinations are over. WHAT IS FRIENDSHIP TO YOU? sigh, it gets more clearer to me that... nevermind. let's just keep that to myself (:

& i know this next piece is going to be obvious already laa, if you can actually see it though. hint: a new group. does that ring a bell in your head? *ding dong* the rest of it, you can complete the story yourself. because i'm tired of it. sigh, i rest my case. but let me tell you & you#2, never have i hold grudges on you both, exception to those times when i was having an immature thinking [more when in pri & sec], forgive me. other than that, i've got my thinking straight about all this. so ya.

now that i have ended my ever boring post, i wish to ask a simple request, can? don't turn this blog into a place to say out/throw/spit out vulgarities. it's not a place to vent out anger or a place to make false critics. so ya. thank you (: nevertheless, i won't spark a controversy here. because i know that YOU know, it's wasting your life & energy. so if you know that, please, do clear out the dark clouds around us all. because it's not worth doing this. & you know it! (:

okay, i realise i've been saying the word because many times. about.. uhh.. wait ahh. there are about 9 because in that entry. lalala. ohh wells. i hate doing this. but at times, if we can't express it in a form of verbal words, at least typed or written ones will help. because[this is the 10th] yes i admit, i'm too afraid to say it to your face. but then again, i hope that you will understand and will give a thinking about it. & not go around saying i'm the one wrecking that friendship. because[11th] as far as i'm concern, i don't go around doing that. sigh. i'm done. i rest my case. oh gawdd, someone please tell me this is all a misunderstanding. gaah! aiyoo!
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& 3/5 BBQ's in like how many days time. i'm so excited. & the response to having one was fast. everyone was geared up for it. especially sean tan. haas. RRE, you don't mind eyy? thank you. for awhile only[no, not the thank you] (:

okay laa, i'm off. i'm sick of blogging very long Long LOng LONg LONG post. because[12th] i just don't like laa ok. nyehs.

okay, as promised, the pictures. sorry they're cramped up laa. too many already.




&& shab, remind me to send you the remaining pictures. i'm afraid i will forget about it. do remind me eyy. & sorry if they are sent late. the size of the files are big urhhs. sorry if i'm taking my time. sorry x3.

okay i'm done. night.

& today thanks to ms lim & toh han zhen, i managed to get an A2 for my combined physics. thank you :) & note to self: never repeat that again! okay got it. & han zhen, thanks for being the honest witness :) & to friends who comforted me, thank you (: that includes you too RRE altough it's through tagboard. nyehs.

today breakfast was a blast, in a way. celebrated the belated birthday of my kembaar/zomboo, shazni dearest (:
started off with meeting ally, anna & a special guest, nizamFISH. hehe headed to whitesand to meet up with shab, shazni, andrea, jordan, liyana, cheryl & nadrah[who came darn early, hehe]. it was, in a way, a success surprise but not success surprise. haas. so i gave this cow stuff[like how shazni calls it at her blog], to her. come on, she knows me. i'm obsess with cows, cute, fat ones. hehe, ohh wells. after that, we took 358 to school. unexpectedly, shab alighted ealier.[due to some possibilities not mentioned]. the rest alighted somehwere near the school. eyy okay, i'm like lazy to type everything that has happened today.

after school, no self-study. went home, changed. met up with those PURE students, nyehs, at 358 bustop. headed down to downtown where ally treated us. thank you sis! after which shab, ally, myself & shazni headed to the beach, rock #2. my friend should remember that. it's still there okay! haas. we camwhored like people who never camwhored on rocks before. some weird, obscene-but-not-obscene pictures were taken. pictures will be at the end of this boring entry. nyehs. so ya. it was fun. thank you to LRB for the day alrights. love love korang laa!

& results were disappointing. like my gawdd laa okay. although i must say i'm quite glad(?) that i passed literature for EOY.
so i ended up having 2 As,3 Cs. 1 miserable D7 & a freaking E8. as expected? well, the E8 one was. since it was none other than maths. i was hoping i could achieve a C6 like last year's EOY maths. i was so happy laa okay. but then this time. sigh. D7 was design&technology. theory really pulls it all down. darn it. Cs, gawdd i wish i could kill myself for getting those. As, they are miserable As laa! okay, i don't want to talk about it. it's over. all that i can do now is pray that,insya'allah, i manage to move on to sec4 with my friends (:

okay i'm done blogging. & okay, i'm a liar for now. i'm lazy to upload the pictures. next time laa okay. sorry. night!

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDIL FITRI MAAF ZAHIR & BATIN
MINAL AIDIL WAL FAL'IZIN :D

it's pink for some reason. nyehs, i'm preparing for pink day okay :P
well, the feeling of raya is urmmm... there but not there, i suppose? firstly, school is still on, uhh, boo? secondly, results are out next week, double boo. thirdly, it seems the same old raya year after year? i don't know, but whatever it is, i know that hari raya is the day people should be happy [except for some cases that i know of, whatever]. since i can't really send out uhhh 9325729064985 sms & comments to all muslim friends i have, i guess i'll just say it here, hopefully they blog hop. HAHA. how many would even bother to do that. ohh wells.

you know, i should really start a new job here. start a company whereby i wish people on special occasion & no, not get paid, but secara ikhlas, orang melayu katakan. aiseyy, melayu macam rojak! kekek! it's fun you know, wishing people on special occasions. such as hari raya, birthdays, their month/anniversary... good lucks, etc. it's fun, like really. nyehs.

& my room is done! aiseyy the mann, within 2hours, furnitures shifted, floor's been vacuum, & everything's been rearranged. okay, best. i can be a housewife. yay, no. i cannot cook still. i can't be bothered to help mum in the kitchen. i know, i will cause disaster to the food. so no worries, i did not cook, so none will get upset tummy. hehehe. i love cleaning up just for special occasion. HAHA. it's like, you're trying to impress people like that. haha, idiot laa rau.

jalan raya is yet to be organised. & someone's so going to be part of it this year. my "off-key singing" partner yaww (: you know who you are. *hint : take a look at the periodic table, i think it's the only one i've got* nyehs. hope this year will be an awesome jalan raya, yea? aiseyy the mann, rau can stop it already laa. haha.

okay people, i want to disturb my mum at the kitchen. hehe, selamat hari raya yaww (:

& to those whom i wanted to seek forgivenss on 30th syawal, wait long long okay :P

exams are like, OVER. can finally mend back the over worked brain of mine here.
few things i would like say first, after days of not updating my blog, due to exams, ya.

2nd OCT
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO NAUFAL HAKIM :D

LJSpeople still rock ok. insya'allah will hang out soon(?) missing it all already. nyehs.

9th OCT
someone got the shock of her life. & i knew, it was a 2nd success in scaring someone. *evil laugh*
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMINA MASTURA DEAREST :D

hope you liked the gift & chill, i'm not that evil to have eggs, water, flour... you get the idea :P
& trust me, i will go MIA next march. because, you know what i did last OCT. HAHA lame -.-"

well, ya. that's the only two events i remembered. but mastura's one was the best. i'm so sorry for the suspense made. & hell yea i'm good at it. haha, but doing all these, there are the consequences. & i know they are going to get back on me. good luck to me. itu laa rau. siapa suruh kenakan orang. amik ubat. boo, yea. gaah.
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today, went to buy stickers! star & heart shapes. i'm like happy laa okayy. like a small kid desperately wants the nice stickers for his/her collection. but mine was different. i had a different mission. the idea of buying them was to stick on the containers filled with yummy kuih(s). decorate them laa in a way. & i was dying to be the one decorating it & my wish was granted. fun laa okay. like moron like that. & also, finally bought my damn shoes. it has HEELS, though it's not high, but still! [no worry, you're still taller than me, boo, nyehs]. finding one was hard. couldn't get my size but finally did. gaah. so ya, that was today.
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results are next week. scared scared scared. the suspense is much greater here. oh gawdd. will raya be joyous after the ever waited EOY results out? we'll find out, next week. okay, that was pure random. i just hope i did well.

okay, done. night. & yes, i owe alot of people apologies. malam raya esok akan saya, raudhah mohamed, mohon maaf kepada anda yang saya ingin memohon maaf.
rau, mother tongue paper2 already over laa, stop it seyys with your malay. ok. bye!