kidnap my heart.

& it was the first, with you ♥

written with a pen
sealed with a kiss
shown by a song
proven by the heart ♥

shall be on hiatus for now, i supposed. heys, mid-year examinations are just next week. wait, scratch that. it's this friday. boo. study study study sooooooooooooon. alright, i'm out. & i'm in love with this song, woo. ok, bye.

today's the 20th.
approximately 182 days to O levels
exactly 5 more days to MYE
approximately 1 month 6days to MT O level paper

i'm going to die soon. i want to back out from D&T, literally. bye.

[edit] Você ainda são os mesmos. Sempre quando eu estou no meu pior que você acabou de evitar me como se você não conhecer-me. No entanto, quando eu estou de volta-se sendo que kick ass menina, que chegou para mim e vamos bitch. Se não, você não estar lá para me preocupar. Você disse, "ohh ir com a corrente". Assim eu vou dizer-lhe uma coisa. Às vezes indo com o seguimento significa hipocrisia. Preferiria estar com quem tem mais amigos, em vez de quem tem nenhum. Você tem medo de perder a face. Enfrentá-lo, eu sou apenas um bom amigo quando eu estou feliz que menina. Quando estou na pior das hipóteses, você agir como se você não conhecer-me. Em primeiro lugar, quem sou eu realmente para você.

when things fail, i'm left to pick them up on my own. have you ever thought for a second... even for one split second? think about it. [/edit]

by the way, this has NOTHING to do with my friend

it's getting closer...

when will i be rewarded that kind of luxury?

& what i need now is that! however, i'm not suppose to be smiling but rather emotionless. really, soon, i'm going to have to sacrifice my sleeping time. however, i can't. i easily get those bad headaches if i don't rest well. due to the insufficient amount of food intake plus the countless hours of moving around & working my brain out till it will be burnt out. & when that happens, i think there is going to a home for burnt out female patients, & i will be the first.

i'm turning in. sean said i should. i can't stand the pain. hopefully i'm given a chance to extend the deadline of the folio. really, i need to rest. mum said i can't overwork myself. what the hell. i need to sacrifice my time a lot, goddamnit. sigh.

alright, what the hell am i doing here, updating this blog? i'm supposed to be asleep, NOW. go & sleep rau, GO! ok night.

*i'm wishing for all these misery to end. 111108, 0900h is when i will throw everything around in scream for celebration, sigh.

I NEED TO SLEEP! NIGHT.

CRASH! goes the glass.

& it's a question to whether it's tear of joy or tear of cry.

& i'm out tears to shed. i conclude that it isn't the best day ever for me for this month. puffy eyes are seen. staring at the computer screen just makes my eyes even dry. i'm being oblivious to nadrah's advice of sleeping once i got home. i'm sorry.

as much as i wish to confront her at times, deep inside, i know she is the only one who knows me best. even if the contrast of our behavior is obvious, i know without, i'll be locking every problems i have in me. i'm sorry for nudging you off when you comforted me. i felt that you weren't needed at that time. however, i soon realize that the only person i can turn to is you. i'll clear this out with you, one day. as much as i wish i could confront you, i still do respect you as a best friend. question for you, is strong friendship a one sided thing? think about it. loves.

distance felt. what happened. i could still feel you, however, it's bare, at heart. it just got me thinking, deeper than i should. i would never say that you've changed, never. however, i miss you. i miss you like how a child misses his mum when they're distance apart. really, i do. every now and then i think. was it avoidance or some other things. i miss, i really do. i'm over-reacting here, yes i agree. sigh, where are you, *cries* although, your love at heart is still felt in me, but i can't feel you like i always do. sigh, *cries*

i visited her profile. like what i told sarah & sufiah, i compare myself to her. from the song tear drops on my guitar:
she's got everything that i have to live without
sigh, i need to talk to sarah & sufiah.

& things ain't pretty at home. the reluctance of speaking to me is getting obvious. i feel as though i'm made invisible at home. what has become of me. who am i now.

& i feel no sense of care, love, happiness & whatsoever from every angle be it at home, school & even... sigh. question now is... where are you when i need you... the most, *cries*

[edit] & band just had me crying too. i'll miss those guy bitches in my section. i'll miss those lovely companies at the mallet section. i'll miss those sounds of music made. i'll miss the atmosphere. i'll miss my baby mallet. & most of all, i'll miss MR GOH & MR SHAH. however, still, i will visit them.

& HAPPY 18th TO ARIFF, in advance. see see i still remember horxx.
& thanks RRE for caring (: loves. [/edit]

& my feelings show that i miss you terribly ♥