& again...

& you had me falling for butterflies just like i had fallen for you ♥

i ended up not going to school, again. however, i did go for breakfast this morning. my aim was to go breakfast as well as school. somehow, on the way to school, i almost went black out. the heat inside my body was acting up again. i couldn't seem to walk properly. i can't laugh nor talk nor show any expressions. nadrah said my lip was pale. alyah & shazni said i was in between. they advised me to go home, & i had to. sigh. so much for not wanting to miss school. thank god ms lim said i'm able to take my NAPFA on another day. thanks for your concern ms lim (:

the weird part was that everyone was walking to school, while i was walking against their direction. people were looking at me. i was already trying to stay strong as far as i can. once home, i couldn't take it anymore & went to bed to rest. the headache was really acting up. sigh.

in the morning, met my friends at 0700h. nash couldn't make it, sadly though. went to loyang point to eat. walked past GVSS. *i was hoping to see him doing duty since i remember loyang point is near there* however, they were doing flag raising. gaah. anyways, we should eat at loyang point more often *not because of walking past GVSS* as the place there is quiet and calm (:

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i need to eat. i really have to. however, i'm not eating. well, ok i ate just a moment ago. well, i was forced to. not that i wanted to. really, i have to eat. i need to eat. anybody willing to force me to eat? the sad fact here is that i can't eat oily, spicy, too salty food. that means i can only eat tasteless food. gawdd, this is what i get for not eating properly & for skipping meals.

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i miss my friend. i think my friend is disappointed in me for not taking care of myself. i love my friend. i must start eating properly. i must not stress myself. my friend has been very patient with me, thank you. i want my friend, now, please.

yet again.

yes, i'm awake. no, i'm not skipping school. i have NAPFA today. i can't afford to skip. if i skip today, it'll be the the third time in a row of three weeks. i have to eat. however, i don't want to eat. i want to eat. however my stomach will back out last minute by not wanting to accept food. i'm hungry.

my laptop went lagging just now when i entered my blog. i suspected it was the long post. true enough it was. i had to delete the long blockquote made. that was the thing that made my laptop lagging. i'm serious. don't ask me how was that possible. it did. fcuk.

& now i want to sleep. bye.

BRAVO... not

& i wish that the bear hanging was... from you ♥

one question in my mind right now. why am i weak? ok, one obvious reason is that because i don't have a proper dietary. i skip meals. i eat junk food. i eat rubbish. i like to starve myself. no, i'm not aneroxic. yes, my friend is disappointed in me for not taking care of myself. yes, i want to cry. reason being because i have to miss school, again. that means i'll miss lessons. that means i'll be far behind. that means i'll have to catch up very fast. i have a mental sickness, i think. i have this mind thinking if i eat more, i'll gain weight. i'm heavy already. help, anyone? sigh.

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school's fine. lessons are ok. POTC is not horror. everyone goes crazy about it. he's deprived, i think. i slept for 2periods & a half just now. my body wasn't burning up but i felt the uneasiness of the warm inside. i had a terrible headache. still having it now. band was ok. i bought for sufiah strawberry lollipop as requested (you're welcome dearest). i love kak dayah a lot. i miss a lot. & that includes nizamFISH too. i love sock chian, sufiah & sarah. i love to talk to sarah. i love to disturb sufiah. i love my dotter loads for being there for me.

got out of school about 1919h. timing was perfect, my friend just finished too. i went to meet my friend. i wasn't able to slack with him. we walked to the bustop at my area. i felt like vomiting. i was already dizzy. my friend offered to send me till my blk. he did, sadly not to my doorstep (how i wish). i love him. thank you. you have to force me to eat. he keeps a look out on me besides my lovable friends.
aishah is trying to make me eat now. i don't feel like eating at the moment. however, i will promise to start eating properly, soon.

tomorrow DENGDENG INC. is going to eat prata. i can't miss it. i promise to go. i have to go. fcuk my fever. i have lessons to attend in school. i have to study. i have to. i can't miss school, anymore. drag me to school, anyone?

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*deleted area as it was lagging my laptop, really -.-*

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to my friend:
thank you for everything. i love you. yes, i do. loves.

P.S. *will tell you when we meet*