i've had enough of everyth alr. don't make it anymore worse. i'm literally, emotionally and mentally crushed. this is much worse than that of secondary school. this is tertiary level. i'm getting older. we're getting older. stop pressing me w this. i'm depressed enough alr. are you happy? your plan to turn over th damn table has alr been fulfilled.
i won't be surprised should anytg happen next. it's so predictable. you ate my pride. you tore my friendliness. you broke my heart. all th colors are drained out. i have no more colors in me except that of me & my love. you really went beyond th line. you're really too much.
i'm utterly disgusted by th fact i was actually able to tolerate you. i'm really disgusted of myself because of you. do you know how demoralising it is? if not, let me tell you. it's Super Demoralising w a capital S and D. it's enough to make me anti social all over again. enough to make me lose confidence in social aspect. above it all, enough to make me be fcuking disappointed in you.
i feel like an SMACT blogger. i'm not supposed to be that. i've trained myself to not do this. but now, i did. i'm not supposed to but yea i did. why, why. because of you. a friend like you. a friend i trusted so much. believed in so much. tolerated you enough. but no, you never really see that. all you see is me, as a punching bag. yea, punch all you want. till every part of it tear. till you've got nothing else to punch.
don't you dare say i'm talking nonsense. because i'm not. i've gone through enough w you to actually observe your traits. & you know it's th truth.
idk where i stand anymore. i really don't. i'll appeal out if it makes th situation better. i neither belong here nor thr. i don't need charity act. really, i don't. i'd rather be an anti social than to be surrounded by charities.
you see how bad my impression of social aspect is now, huh? do you? do you fcuking see?!
i just need time alone now. i really do. i just need time w love. to drain out this depression i'm having. to recover from th fever i'm having. to get away from all this pain. he's th only one who can do that.
don't you ever think fr a second that friends can just be replaced as and when you like. because you fcuking don't do that. and after your replaced friends are gone, you take back th friends you disposed off. that is just fcuking using them. & you, just made a literal visual example of that. trust me, i know. i've seen that.
i don't like to say name or pin point. but somehow this is rather very much obvious. because th damages you did to everyone is quite severe. as fr th damages done to me, it's severe enough to kill th old me. and it alr did. and whoever knows what's going on would have alr guessed from th beginning of this post who it is. and i know, you know too.
you can cry all you want after reading this. i don't give a damn. you can choose to thicken your skin w flour, also i don't give a damn. because you made me tear more than i ever should. you made me tear when people keep telling me i'm meant to smile.
you can choose to slap my face if you want to. but if you do, i dare you to slap me in front of th mass lecture students. th pain i carry is so much, it's enough to drown you in it. and i've been drowned w it all, w my very own tears. happy now?
sigh. i don't even know who i am anymore. all those years of finding my true self in me, and having confidence in myself to believe in friends, gone just like that. because of you. you really smashed my wall.
this is pointless. you're still my friend. but you'll be somewhere at th back of my mind. i should just treat you as how you treat me as well as everyone else.
non existent.
good night.
